Reflections of the Last Year and Preparing for the New Year

It's been one of those years. You know what I mean, where it seems like one thing after another occurs, and you just can't seem to catch your breath between incidents.

Let's recap 2015, physically and mentally. I started out the year with ECT treatments for medication resistant depression and then a psychiatric hospitalization.

Then, I had a series of low back pain injections, due to a continuing low back problem. I had a major fatigue illness that kept me from doing much of anything, including walking my dog for months. I even had a series of IV infusions that were supposed to help me regain my strength. That did help, after awhile.

I knew I couldn't keep up the rate of work I'd been doing before with running several businesses, giving writing workshops, participating on the Board of Directors for Florida Writers Association, blogging, editing and proofreading others work, and freelance writing. Along with taking classes to become certified to teach journal therapy, I was stretched mentally and physically. This could have led to the energy collapse.

So, I chose to concentrate on getting myself well. I resigned from the FWA board of directors, closed my businesses, and stopped freelance writing. I stopped taking journal therapy classes and the weight of it all felt great. I knew my priorities had changed and I now wanted to not only concentrate on getting myself well, but helping others in a more one on one capacity with their writing and with opening up about mental issues. I wanted and did become an advocate for Mental Health.

I even wrote a book titled, "Writing Heals" that gives others an opportunity to discover traumatic issues that had been holding them back, learning to accept them, cope with them, and using writing to overcome them and live a life of joy.

This gave me the strength I needed to schedule my yearly trip to see my kids and grandkids, without fear of flying or travel, or leaving my home. I'd become my own version of my book.

I did have a wonderful time visiting my kids and grandkids in Arizona. My husband even went, giving us some wonderful quality time with everyone.

Then, coming back, I got the news from my Optometrist that I needed immediate Cataract surgery, after a year's determination that my eyes had deteriorated to the point that corrective lenses were no longer available. Going through Cataract surgery for both eyes and then discovering that the healing process brought on Posterior Capsulotomy (a film grew over my new lenses, causing a cloudy view, blurring, halos, etc.) The eye surgeon, Dr. Newsom, said that it sometimes occurs in "younger" patients, when they heal too quickly. So, I then had to have 2 more procedures on my eyes,  to remove that issue.

In the mean time, I was having major GI issues, that ended up with me in the ER, then admitted into the hospital for a series of tests that resulted in a diagnosis of Colitis and Diverticulitis. The Colitis continues to flare up and is not under control yet. While I went through that, I had a black out while walking on the sidewalk behind my husband, that resulted in another trip to the ER to discover that there wasn't anything apparent to cause the blackout but resulted in various bumps, bruises, a chipped tooth, sprained wrist, and broken elbow.

Yay.

And, the year wasn't over yet. I couldn't keep the incidents straight, they were happening so fast. The next thing I know, I'm in the ER again, with muscle spasms in my low back, so severe I couldn't walk, stand, sit, nothing. The pain was so severe, I called my neighbor to take me to the hospital, where after seven hours they sent me home with medication for muscle spasms and pain and an order for a week of bed rest. This meant I was in bed through the week before and during Christmas. I couldn't even decorate for Christmas, which actually ended up as a good thing, which I'll describe below.

Some of the good things that resulted were helping my husband fulfill his life long dream of getting a pilot's license. He'd been a remote control airplane and helicopter enthusiast his entire life. He'd longed to actually fly airplanes, eventually flying helicopters. So, I decided to help my husband by putting all our efforts toward this goal, including giving up a lot of of our free time with him.

One of the best things that happened was in June, when I opened up to my husband, myself, and my doctors about a 50 year old secret that I'd been keeping. I had an eating disorder. A binge eating disorder. I started seeing a new therapist who brought old insecurities and past traumas to light that helped me understand that by keeping the secret I was actually harming myself more. By, facing it, facing old life traumas, and understanding guilt ridden ideologies, I actually found myself letting go of past control issues and taking charge of my life choices, I finally understood that no one had control of my food issues. Only I could make the choices that resulted in a new pattern of lifestyle thoughts and choices that made me feel better about myself and let go of the guilt I had for so long.

I was able to apply my faith and love of God and His word to help me get through. I was able to let go of the obsessive control I had let others have and discover that I could leave the stigma of weight and food to others and not let them affect me.

I now have a more positive attitude toward food, myself, health and now have an even healthier relationship with nutrition and my body.

I now know that weight loss does not equal healthy eating or recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, and being thin does not equal happiness or health.

I am taking it one day at a time.

Best of all, I've learned better coping skills for Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. Skills that don't require psychotropic medications. My psychiatrist was in full support and helped me drop one medication after another.

Because of this, I've found that after eighteen years in the same house, where at one time I was so agoraphobic I couldn't leave my own home, I'm ready to move onto a new path in my life. A life that surrounds my husband's desire to fly and live in a community further away from the city and has its own airport. So, we are. We are moving to a community with its own airport and each house has its own hanger for an airplane.

I'm not even freaking out about it. I think the move will be a wonderful way to start 2016.

Although, when my husband and I thought about moving from our current home, we thought we'd be downsizing and thinning out our possessions. This new home is bigger than the one we have, it's on more land, and if you add the hanger space, three car garage space, and home space, it's more than three times of living space than we have now.

So, that's been my life this past year. Good and bad. Each event led me to a revelation about myself and my life's priorities.

And, my first commitment to myself is to give myself permission to change the direction of the memoir I'd struggled to write for the past year or so, and write with a passion for helping others. That makes me very happy.

I'm also going to make a commitment to increase my physical activity, as the community we are moving to gives Jack (my American Eskimo dog) and me more areas to walk, without getting near a major road.

I'll continue my therapy work on Binge Eating Disorder, reinforcing new techniques to help me be more mindful of my eating habits and choices.

And, I'll work with other writers, giving them of my time and knowledge, to help them become the best writer they can be and help them achieve their writing goals.

I have a wedding to look forward to, as my son is getting married to the love of his life and that could mean more grandchildren on the horizon. (yay!)

Finally, I'll continue my work learning as much as I can about the Bible and Christian History so that I can not only answer my questions, but give me a further perspective about my relationship with God.

The best thing is, with my progress with Bipolar Disorder and other mental issues, I am going to help as a Mental Health Advocate by reducing stigma and increasing knowledge for those who want to learn.

That's it. That's been my 2015 life, and my feelings about my future for 2016. Am I going to make a resolution? Doubtful. I don't think they are necessary and I'd rather work on improving myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and personally with positive affirmations, thoughts, and actions.

I hope that you had an enlightened 2015 and that you can look forward to 2016 without making unnecessary or unachievable resolutions.

Be kind to yourself and to others. Follow Jesus' commandments to love God and one another.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. -- Philippians 4:8

Turn your thoughts to positive things, as urged by Paul. Make a conscious effort to think gentler, more noble thoughts. Replace all of your bad thoughts with kinder, love-filled thoughts, reducing stress and increasing your peace. Before long, you'll re-train your brain to naturally turn to truth, purity and excellence.

Happy New Year!

Vicki

P.S. I hope you are enjoying my series on Mental Health. If you have any suggestions for a topic, please let me know.

Mental Health Series - Top Five Healthy/Unhealthy Ways to Cope with Anxiety

The Five Unhealthy and Five Best Ways to Cope With Anxiety

Anxiety is something we’ve all probably experienced in our life. We’ve lived through a life-threatening moment where our heart races or we’ve felt anxious about a test or before a hospital procedure.  We may have had to cope with an emergency. This is normal anxiety and it goes away once the situation does.

However, for those who suffer from anxiety, symptoms can continue while the situation doesn’t. These symptoms can frighten a person into an ongoing cycle of worry and anxiety that perpetuates more symptoms.

Anxiety affects us in four distinct ways:

• ·      How we feel
• ·      How our body works
• ·      How we think
• ·      How we behave

How We Feel?

1      Are you anxious? Nervous? Worried? Frightened
  Do you feel like something horrible is going to happen?
  Are you tense, stressed? Uptight? On edge? Unsettled?
  Do you feel unreal? Strange? Woozy? Detached?
  Are you panicky?

How Our Body Works?

1     1.     Heart pounds, races, skips a beat?
2.     Chest feels tight or painful?
3.     Tingling or numbness in toes or fingers?
4.     Stomach churning or butterflies?
5.     Having to use toilet?
6.     Jumpy or restless?
7.     Tense muscles?
8.     Body aching?
9.     Sweating?
10. Breathing changes?
11. Dizzy, light-headed?

How We Think?

1    1.     Constant Worrying?
2.     Can’t Concentrate?
3.     Thoughts Racing?
4.     Mind jumping from one thing to another?
5.     Imagining the worse and constantly thinking about it?

How We Behave?

1    1.     Pace Up and Down
2.     Start jobs and not finish
3.     Can’t sit and relax
4.     On the go all the tie
5.     Talking quickly or more than usual
6.     Snappy and irritable behavior
7.     Drinking alcohol more
8.     Smoking more
9.     Eating more or less
10. Avoiding fearful situations

Anxiety is an illness that cannot be cured. But with careful management, it can be reduced and treated. You must learn to work on your anxiety by:

·      Understanding your anxiety better

·      Reducing the physical symptoms

·      Altering your thoughts related to anxiety

·      Changing your behaviors related to anxiety

If you do not do these things, the following can occur if you tend to treat your anxiety by following the advice of the worst ways to cope with your anxiety. If you see yourself in any of these situations, please contact a mental health professional or your primary care physician and seek medical attention immediately.

Top Five Unhealthy Ways to Cope with Anxiety

Unhealthy Thinking– Worry, Obsessive thinking, Rumination – all of these can trap your mind in an endless loop and spiral into more advanced mood disorders such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, and other psychological conditions.  Obsessive thinking exaggerates and extends upsetting feelings. Rumination focuses on future outcomes of events that haven’t occurred or gives the person something to worry about by having an uncontrollable preoccupation of the past.

Unhealthy Eating

Stress and anxiety increases your appetite along with triggering the release of a number of chemicals in the brain including adrenaline and cortisol. These make you feel alert to help you handle any threat and make you ready for action. However, whenever you’re overly stimulated with anxiety, your body begins to crave comfort foods for biological and psychological reasons. Your body craves foods associated with memories from childhood and comfort.

Unhealthy Drinking/Drugs/Illicit (Illegal) Activities

One way to avoid your anxiety is to self-medicate with alcohol, drugs or illegal drugs, or other types of illicit activity such as self-harm, like cutting. These activities do not reduce the anxiety, replace the anxiety, or remove the anxiety. They only delay or magnify the symptoms.

Unhealthy Sleeping

One way the body deals with an anxiety attack is to shut down all bodily functions, and sleep. You may think that if you sleep away your anxiety, you will awaken with the anxiety gone and you can then go on with your life. It doesn’t work that way. You’ll only have slept away most of your days and nights and not accomplished anything but worry your family and friends, and possibly lost your job or gotten behind on paying your bills. The anxiety will still be there.

Unhealthy Withdrawal from Social Functions/Friends/Family

When you withdraw from friends, you may begin watching too much television, or do too much of one activity alone. This is not healthy for you. You cannot avoid your issues my avoiding your friends and family. 

Top Five Best Ways to Cope with Anxiety

Physical/Relaxation Exercise

Try some physical exercise to get the heart beating at a regular beat that stretches your muscles, but also try some relaxation methods such  as aerobics, walking, yoga, or massage as well.  By keeping up with healthy exercise, you will automatically assume a healthy sleep cycle.

Social Activities

Keep up with activities in your age group or neighborhood. Go to a senior center if need be, or other group in your appropriate age group. Find out what activities are taking place and join. Talk to your family and friends and form a regular weekly game night. Do whatever makes you happy and joyful.

Maintain a Support System

Reach out and connect with others who you trust and can stay in contact with on a regular basis. Make sure that you include your mental health physician or therapist, your primary doctor, a neighbor, your life partner or closest friend, and anyone else you can trust. These are people who you will be able to go to if you ever need to when an anxiety episode strikes or if you feel the need to use emergency services someone there can call one of these people for you.

Prayer/Meditation

If it so moves you, join a local church of your affiliation. There are many functions among the church family. You can always ask for prayer or find someone to pray with you. Listening to self-guided hypnosis or meditation is another way to help you relax and cope with your anxiety.

Healthy Eating

Maintain a healthy balanced diet, as much as possible. Eat lean protein, green vegetables and drink plenty of water to keep your body hydrated and avoid sugar and processed foods.

When you become aware of how you handle anxiety, you make healthier choices. Studies suggest that highlighting social ties can deliver certain health benefits.

Remember, you are only one defining decision from a totally different life.

image courtesy of incredible joy.com 

Mental Health Series - TIPS FOR YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR PSYCHIATRIST

The following recommendations can make the experience with your psychiatrist more helpful and satisfying:

1.- Remember to verify with your insurance that your provider is in network or if you need a referral from your PCP, before you schedule your appointment.

2.- The day of your first appointment make sure you have directions and try to get there 15 to 20 minutes early to fill out new patient paperwork.

3.- Be always on time for your appointments. Your therapy time is very important, and every minute counts.

4.- Remember to take with your photo ID and health insurance card with you the day of your appointment.

5.- Write a list including all the prescriptions or over the counter medications, herbs, vitamins or  supplements that you are currently taking and any medication allergies.

6.- Make sure your records from previous providers are sent before your appointment, that way your Psychiatrist can review them beforehand and have a better idea of your history.

7.- If you need to cancel or reschedule your appointment call 24-48 hours in advance. Same as your time, your provider time is also important.

8.- Write down all your symptoms and for how long you have had them. And all the questions you want to ask your doctor as well.

9.- If you don’t understand something, ASK. Your provider will clarify the information for you.

10.- Remember to make your follow up appointments at the end of your visit and get an appointment card with the date and time, as well as the recommendations provided during the current visit all  written so you won’t forget.

11.- Don't worry. Your provider is there for you. Use your time wisely by asking important questions and paying attention. If you don't understand ask your provider to repeat or explain in a way that helps you understand. It might be helpful to bring along a notebook and pen to write down everything said so that you don't have to try and recall from memory.

Do you have tips that can help others? Please list them in the comments below. Thanks!